TAURUS – GOOD EXPECTATIONS
You have a Taurus of expensive taste, and even if a mysterious benefactor provided you with a large bankroll, you will still find a way to live beyond your means. The message here is that you need to learn to be proud of your humble beginnings.
GEMINI – THE BOOK OF THE TWO CITIES
On the one hand, Gemini, you feel like you don’t have enough time (like the man going to the stake), and on the other hand, you live for the limelight that comes with a more symbolic death, and you enjoy the public display of the suffering of others.
CANCER – ANNE OF GREEN GABLES
Like the title character, you’ve dealt with Cancer, but you’ve never let it permanently ruin your outlook on life, or the way you communicate with others. For every Josie Pye there are a hundred Diana Barrys, and you let the acknowledgment of that fact be your north star.
LEO – THREE MUKETS
How could this not be your book, Leo? “One for all, and all for one?” That’s literally the name of your weekly Happy Hour Splitwise tab. There’s something to be said for finding “your tribe” and an adventure that takes you on a journey that fully embraces your personality.
VIRGO – CONDUCT AND PRIVATENESS
You are very right, or very wrong, Virgo. And it’s no coincidence that a book where the main character is the smartest person in every room is completely and without a doubt made for you.
LIBRA – JANE EYRE
You see both sides of every story, Libra. Has he been keeping his wife locked in the attic while trying to seduce her into bigamy? Sureeeee. But! Does he really love you despite your lack of family and hopes. YES! See, it’s not as bad as it looks, and stand by your behavior. Definitely.
SCORPIO – WUTHERING HEIGHTS
The abused orphan grows up and drives his abuser to evil, depravity, alcoholism, and destruction. He also climbs to the grave of his dead girlfriend whose ghost torments everyone except him. This book couldn’t belong to anyone but you Scorpio, and we all know I don’t need to explain why.
SAGITTARIUS – WORLDWIDE IN 80 DAYS
Sure, Phileas Fogg didn’t have a previous TSA or Global Entry check, but he spent a ton of money and betting effort to prove a point, and no one else does cockroaches except Saggy.
CAPRICORN – BLACK BEAUTY
You will work for people who have money. For people who don’t have money. To people who treat you well, and people who work with you to the bone. But the one thing in life you can always count on, Capricorn, is you the will work.
AQUARIUS – LES MISERABLES
He talks about the immorality of sending someone to prison for stealing bread at least once a year, and mostly he looks to the French as a legitimate example of economic justice.
PISCES – THE TIME MACHINE
This book is trippy and ahead of its time, just like you are a Pisces. He likes to wander from daydreams with sweet, innocent vibes like the Eloi to something more dark, twisted, and beastly like the Morlocks. Duality represents the dimension of your imagination.
ARIES – THE ILIAD
There’s nothing you can’t do honestly, Aries. But you also understand cutting the real foundation after someone steals your spouse, or your spouse’s friend. It doesn’t take much to drag you into conflict.