Norwegian athlete Sturla Holm Lægreid admits to cheating on TV: Why a public apology is not a good idea

Winning your first Olympic medal is a moment worth celebrating. It is a huge achievement that surpasses most people’s wildest dreams. It is not, however, an opportunity to admit to cheating someone and try to pay him back in front of the whole world.

On Tuesday, Sturla Holm Lægreid won her first Olympic medal in the 20 km biathlon at the Winter Olympics in Milan-Cortina.

Shortly after winning, Lægreid gave an interview to Norwegian broadcaster NRK, revealing that he had been unfaithful to his now ex-girlfriend and that he had told her last week. The confession blew up on social media and even a cursory glance at the comments reveals that the internet is almost unanimously not on his side.

“Six months ago I met the love of my life – the most beautiful and kindest person in the world. Three months ago I made my biggest mistake and cheated on him,” said Lægreid, breaking the law mid-confession.

“I had a gold medal in life, and I am sure that many people will see things differently, but I only have his eyes,” he continued. “Sports has come second these past few days. Yes, I wish to share this with him.”

Why share this highly confidential information with the world, you might be wondering? Lægreid later explained his reasons for doing so in an interview with the Norwegian newspaper VG.

“My way of solving the problem is to talk about everything and put everything on the table, trust me that you still love me,” she said.

“I did that for him, and now for the whole world. I have nothing to lose,” he added. “I want to be a good example, but I have to admit when I make mistakes.”

However, Lægreid did not stop talking. In another interview, he said he had not received an answer from his ex-girlfriend. “I haven’t gotten a reaction from this girl I talked about,” he said at the Olympic press conference. “I’m happy because maybe he hasn’t seen it yet, maybe he’ll see it at the right time. I hope I won’t do something bad to him.”

“I hope that in the end there will be a good ending,” he said.

First, you’ve probably seen it. Secondly, there is a big risk that going public in this way will make the situation worse for him. Third, expressing the hope of a “happy ending” now puts more pressure on the ex-spouse. Commenters also comment.

“This is emotional manipulation masquerading as a positive gesture,” read one comment on the BBC Sport Instagram Reel of Lægreid’s subsequent interview. “The happy ending is: he won’t forgive her!” announces one comment on the same post, which received more than 15K likes. “If guilt were the olympics, he’d win gold,” wrote one commentator.

TikTokers have started posting. Podcasts too.

“It’s hard to forgive. Even after declaring love in front of the whole world. I didn’t choose to be put in this position, and it hurts to be in it.”

The problem with televised announcements of regret is that they expose the wrongdoer to the court of public opinion, a court that has already made its decision. And yes, it doesn’t look good on Lægreid.

By opening this story to the media and social media, Laegreid invited more attention to an already painful situation. VG, in one of the media sources, said that “he has been in contact with Holm Lægreid’s ex-girlfriend. She wishes her name to be disclosed in this matter, VG accepted the request as she did not want to be disclosed for a private matter.” VG later reported that Lægreid’s former girlfriend had given a written statement: “It is difficult to forgive. Even after the declaration of love in front of the whole world. I did not choose to be put in this position, and it is sad that I have to be in it,” she wrote. “We have been in contact with him and he knows my views on this.” When asked by VG, Lægreid refused to comment on his answer.

Perhaps Lægreid thought this would appear as an act of love to seek forgiveness for damaging his reputation. For all we know, he may have exhausted all other secret options to express his remorse. I’ve heard tales of guys who are blocked by all means of communication, so they resort to trying to contact their loved ones on Vinted or by transferring a small amount (we’re talking pennies) via bank transfer and the word “sorry” as a payment reference. These acts of desperation are almost always unwanted. And in many cases, they are confusing and deceptive.

This private pain has now been turned into public internet fodder. But, what about the woman who may be sitting at home with a broken heart, who now has to face more pressure to respond, respond, or even accept his apology?

If this woman were to take him back, he would once again face a massive online verdict urging him not to give her another chance. Conversely, he may be judged again if he chooses not to respond further. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. Whether he wanted to or not, Lægreid may have added to the woman’s pain and put her in a difficult, public situation.

It’s been a week since she heard about his betrayal and this woman may still be processing hurt feelings. Even if he could take her back – very emphatic ‘if’ here – it would probably take a hell of a lot longer than a week for her to get to the point of thinking that.

Let the record state: it is perfectly acceptable – and fine – to ignore this practice. We all make mistakes in life and some of them cause real emotional pain to people. But these are serious discussions that should take place in private, behind closed doors. You cannot force someone to forgive you. Send him an email instead. And if he doesn’t answer, you need to respect that silence.

Lægreid later issued a statement expressing remorse for his confession:

“I deeply regret that I brought this personal story on the day of the Norwegian biathlon festival. I am not really me today, and I am not thinking clearly,” he wrote in a statement published by VG.

“My apologies to Johan-Olav, who deserved all the attention after the gold. It also refers to my ex-girlfriend, who ended up going public, I hope she is doing well. I will not change this, but now I will put this behind me and focus on the Olympics. I will not answer any more questions about this.”

I hope this woman has turned off her phone and gone to spa with some supportive friends. Time to close.